woman not to want babies!


 Question :

Is it a mental illness for a woman not to want babies? Answer : No, it's not a mental illness, it's a choice. It's nothing bad or good. Everyone can choose what he/she wants in his/her life. a Woman can decide to have no kids, and a woman may also decide to have 10 kids. Both are ok and we should stop judging her because of her choices. But there is a difference between a personal choice and advising it for others. Suppose, It's ok if 20% of women in our society decide that they won't have children. But if the 20% start influencing others, we'll end up in a world where 80% of women will decide not to have children. That to me, from a social psychology perspective, is very dangerous for all of us. So, I personally would suggest respecting everyone's choices but being very careful to preach your personal preferences at a social level. Not everything that we chose personally is always helpful collectively. ## Two additional points to this - 1. If your husband wants kids and you don't, then you should give him the flexibility to divorce you or perform a second marriage or whatever is appropriate in your culture and religion. You'll find a lot of men in our society who don't want children and you should be with someone who has the same values. 2. You can adopt an orphan if you love babies but the idea of pregnancy scares you. We all can do something to make this world a better place.

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I appreciate the fact that you want to get married and live a family life. But marriage should not be the only purpose of your life. Try to finish your studies and do something so that you can earn a bit. Even if you get married - your husband can die or he can leave you. So, try to be independent as much as possible not only financially but also emotionally. A good husband is a blessing but not all are blessed with it. So, don't rely upon that too much. But if you are blessed with a good husband in the future, try to be a family person and have patience in building your career. Don't rush and don't compete with the people around you. I sincerely request parents support their daughters in these times of confusion and conflict. I never get the idea why parents in the subcontinent think that they need to marry off their daughters at any cost ?! Married life is not easy, plz help your daughters to cope with it. Love them, don't leave them.
by dr khusal

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